Weekly Impaling Stick (back to normal)

This week, after mixed reactions when I changed the format to people only, I am going back to general annoyances:

Christmas Ringtones: ARGHHHHHH!!!!!! When the revolution comes, Christmas Ring tones will be banned. Its the usual suspects...Remember Crazy Cat Lady from a few weeks back? She's got one. Jingle Bells, as sung by her bloody cats. All your Gay friends? Walking in the Air. The receptionist? Slade. Even normally sane and cultured people succumb to it and spend £3 downloading their favourite Christmas tune onto their phones and then attempting to foist it off onto Friends through bluetooth. NO! I have noticed a new trend this year as well. One that has shocked and appalled me to the core. You know the dial tone you get when you pick up your phone and dial a number? On their side, the person you are callings phone is belting out 'All I want for Christmas'. In your ear instead of the normal dial tone you get, all you can hear is a chorus of "When the snowman brings the snow". Those of you who spend their days ringing people will no doubt have heard this new phenomenon, where people aren't content for only those around them to hear their ring tone, they also need to inflict it on the person making the call. These people need shooting.

Bernard Madoff: He has just timed it wrong. Obviously in the eyes of the law, that's the least of his crimes, but in my eyes it was genius. Had we not been in recession and up to the eyeballs in doom and gloom over the constant direness of the current economic climate, then I think the general view regarding this once respected co founder of the NASDAQ would have been one of 'fair play'. The higher you are the harder you fall. He has managed to screw the vast majority of the worlds 'leading' financiers out of BILLIONS of pounds. Private Investors, Celebrities, Charities, Councils, Banks, Corporations and even Government's have fallen victim to his scheme. It has become officially the worlds biggest fraud. And it was a master stroke of genius. You just timed it wrong Bernard, that's why you are on the stick.

Reunions: Take That did it. Spice Girls did it and failed. Boyzone did it and failed. East 17 tried to do it and couldn't get over the fact that they were far to Chavy to do it. And now, glory amongst glories, S Club 7 are doing it. Sort of. They are now S-Club 3. Talk about jumping on the 'band'-wagon. Blue are talking about reforming, as are Stone Roses. We all know there is one that everyone is waiting for, the comeback to end all comebacks - Shawoddywoddy.