Make it stop...

Who else is bored of Jordan and Peter?

I am. I was bored after the first column inch the divorce received and I am still bored today, 6 months on. News of the couples war pervades into every mortal thing in my life. The Metro, a staple of morning commutes and mid afternoon toilet trips carries Team Peter headlines. The Internet, a lunch time safe haven of news sites and social networking all but orders you to view the days news on what Jordan has said about her lovers tackle, or to join this Group against Peter getting the kids. The Evening news reports are in on it. A slightly embarrassed looking Sir Trevor last night informed me that Team Jordan wanted to sit in a room and talk. Even morning TV, watched through blurry eyes and coffee carries 'My Side of the Story' reveals and other such nonsense.

The Paper are the worst. The Sun, Star, Mail and Mirror I expect it from, but even The Times carries the stories. This doesn't reflect on the media though. Be honest with yourselves Britain, the media prints it because people want to read it!!!

Instead of joining Team Peter ('because he's such a good father' and 'didn't she treat him so badly' and 'Oooo, he's got a surprisingly shit voice') or Team Jordan ('she deserves to do what ever she wants', 'he always dragged her down', 'she's got a great rack', 'she's misunderstood') Why not join Team 'I don't give a flying fuck about either Jordan or Peter and yearn for a more interesting press coverage'

They have got us all fooled. Aside from still being utterly convinced that it is all a big publicity stunt (yes, it's looking less likely 6 months on, but imagine!) look what they have achieved:

Peter Andrea, of Mysterious Girl fame (arguably the worst Pop song ever made) has just had a top 5 hit. His voice is weaker than a leprous power lifter, he looks like he has been hit with a spade and he has the stage presence of a gyrating slug.

Jordan AKA Katie Price of Big Chest fame has just released her 2000th autobiography in 5 years and whilst pictured drunk wearing a dress made from string in Ibiza groping a Brazilian student and romping with a cross dressing cage fighter named Roxanne, has been nominated for Mum of the Year 2009.

They take part in two 'fly on the wall' reality shows that gross 5 million viewers between them a week.

So the moral of the story to the countries kids is thus: Divorce is a fabulous institution that boosts the careers of even the most annoying, piss ant, talentless cretins. Give it a try.