Weekly Impaling Stick

Crazy cat ladies - We've all got that colleague, you know the one, she has a framed picture of her cat on her desk, cat mouse mats, cat coffee cups and cat wallpaper on the desktop. She could be prone to ringing her home phone voicemail at lunch times so the cats can hear her voice and every morning when she comes into work, there is always some new drama involving the cats. And why oh why do these women always talk about people in their lives as if the rest of the office knows who they are? "Alison said that the cats had chewed the carpet, so I rang Irene and she said that when her Iris chewed the shag pile she called Mavis the vet who suggested that her cats had stopped doing it if she left a blanket with her perfume on in the house..." Who the hell is Alison??? I wouldn't mind if crazy cat ladies looked like Halle Berry's cat women, but invariably they are overweight, mindless, cat addled cabbages.

The Gorilla Cadburys advert - As controversial as this sounds, I've grown to hate it. Cadburys have ruined what was a monumental piece of television advertising. An ape playing along to Phil Collins raised the bar for all advertising in the 21st century. Cadburys have taken this away from the British public by giving us a shocking re-run, with the same movements, the same action and the same everything. All they have done is dubbed a new song over the Phil Collins one. Poor Phil, not only did the advert sell millions more Cadbury bars, raise the standard by which all other confectioners had to advertise and make an entire generation of TV viewers wait with baited breath for advertisement breaks in our programming - it revitalised his career. That song sold more copies the week the advert hit our screens than it did the first week it came out...Some how I cant see it doing the same for the new incumbent.

PC World - Because where else in the world could you spend £300 on a new computer, hand over your card and commence the payment procedure having spent 30 minutes negotiate a 'deal' on Norton and Microsoft Office as part of the package, only to be told that "By the way, these PCs don't come with CD Disk Drives." I was shocked. "So why have you just spent the last 30 minutes trying to up sell me two pieces of software, that I wouldn't even be able to install on the computer when I got home?" "Oh, actually that's a good point". And guess how much the external CD drives start at? £65. Ridiculous.